Tuesday, May 3, 2011

Letting Go to Let Go

There are people who question whether alternative therapies work.  What I’m finding is that once an individual experiences the process of releasing something — whether it’s a negative emotion, a limiting belief, trauma or phobia — it’s hard to argue with the results.  Believe me; I learned this lesson the hard way.

My introduction to alternative therapies all started with the book NLP and the New Achievement of Excellence by Steve Andreas.  I still don’t know exactly how I stumbled upon the book, but the opening pages promised that Neuro Linguistic Programming would take the difficulty out of behavioral change.  After twenty-five years working in human resources and implementing various training programs that didn’t stick beyond the classroom, I was intrigued by the notion that there was knowledge out there, a philosophy and techniques that promised to help people to show up differently in a sustainable way.
 
The rational and intellectual part of me loved the philosophy behind NLP, so I embraced the self-discovery exercises to get clear about what I wanted out of life.  However, I scoffed at the “techniques” which promised to release lingering unproductive emotions, old beliefs, traumatic experiences…even though the book explained that this process was key to removing old unproductive behavioral patterns.  Because humans are creatures of unconscious habit and want to avoid pains from the past, Andreas was clear that becoming more adaptable and flexible would be difficult in the absence of letting old stuff go.

I was steadfast that the techniques Andreas described seemed too far-fetched, so I resisted.  That is, until a professor challenged me to stop my nay-saying until I could speak from my own experiences.  Ouch!  I scheduled an appointment with a NLP practitioner and prepared to prove that instant change didn’t work.

The little basement office in Fremont seemed perfect for the clandestine hour-long appointment.  The practitioner was an attractive young man in his mid-thirties who could have easily blended into the pages of a Nordstrom advertisement.  Honestly, I had expected someone just a bit more woo-woo.   We’d already talked on the phone so he was aware of my interest in trying out a specific technique, so he quickly got to work, “Do you have anything you are really upset about and would like to release?  You know, maybe you are really sad or pissed off about something?”

That was easy.  Months before, a situation at work had transpired that was fraught with injustice in my opinion.  As a result, I was still harboring ill-feelings toward my manager.  I could feel the emotions start to boil even as I explained the scenario.  The practitioner seemed uninterested in the details and said, “Great.  Let’s work with that situation.”

I wanted to specifically experience something called Time Line Therapy™, which is a releasing technique based on the premise that individuals store their unconscious memories spatially on a metaphorical track or time line that holds our entire lifetime sequentially.  In this technique, you are guided by the practitioner to use visualization techniques to enter a past memory on your time line as a way to relive the full subjective experience.  I was able to plug right into the scenario with all its judgments, beliefs and attachments, which were all bound together by my negative emotions.

Once you connect to the subjective experience, the practitioner guides you to use a series of visualization and somatic techniques that allow you to envision floating higher and further away from the event.  As I moved further away in my mind, the practitioner would check on my emotional state.  Nothing had changed.  I was still angry.  So, the practitioner used some methods to get me out of my head and surrender to the process.  It seems I needed to let go of the need to rationally understand the process…before I could actually let go or release the emotion.  Finally, I was guided by his words…until the emotion just disappeared.

The practitioner instructed me to enter the experience again on my time line and verify the emotion was released.  Yup, the experience was starkly objective – what remained where only the facts and a sense of non-attachment.  I felt no need to react or do anything further.  There was no emotion present.  In its place was a new sense of understanding, acceptance, and best yet, the process of letting go left me with a lesson.  Not including the preparation and discussion before the process itself, this non-attachment transpired in less than 15 minutes.  I didn’t have to visit an ashram or meditate for weeks on end.  I just let it go.

It would take me another four years to get out of my head long enough to allow myself to experience letting go in more significant and profound ways.  That’s right, you have to be prepared to let go of your love affair with cognition and old ways before you are prepared to surrender to the beauty of letting go. What I know for sure is that with every negative emotion, limiting belief, disempowering decision or significant experience I have released, I have been invited to show up differently in life.  And, Andreas should be happy to know that personal change has never felt so easy. 

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