Lie to Me

When the word intelligence is used, I suspect most of us would immediately think of mental capacity.  However, humans actually have four types of intellect: spiritual, mental, emotional and physical.  Spiritual intelligence is vast and contains a depth of knowing that runs far beyond IQ comprehension.  Then we have mental, emotional and physical intelligence which are an interconnected and symbiotic system that allow us to connect—or not—to the truth held in the spiritual mind. 

When we aren’t connected to spiritual truth, which resides in a place of unending peace, creativity and resources, it is often due to the lies that our mind, emotions or body conjure up based on our own past experiences.  Though I’ve known this place for some time, it was the bold-face lie my body conjured up a few weeks ago that reminded me of the importance of seeking the real truth.

My body started the lie on an ordinary Thursday morning right after my session with my writing coach, Kimberly.  I was heading into the office after confessing a few things to her that I had been unwilling to say out loud—that there are these thoughts, ideas, experiences…that…well…I’ve told myself are just too spiritual for my blog.  However, on this particular morning I finally shared a draft of an article I’ve been attempting to write for months now.  As I explained to Kimberly, I was finding it incredibly difficult to translate a life-changing meditation experience into words without minimizing how it impacted my own spiritual awakening.  And yet, the more we talked about the piece, the more excited I became.  I even contemplated clearing my calendar that day and self-indulging in hours of writing.  But alas, a full day of client appointments called me to the office, so instead I had to jump in the car just moments after the call ended.
 
As I pulled into the darkened parking garage, my attention was pulled to the glowing vibration of my phone.  I had an email from Kimberly so I read it quickly before exiting my car.  Her words of encouragement seemed to carry me to the elevator.  However, by the time I reached the elevator call button, I noticed my happy-go-lucky bounce had turned into a little dizziness.  Unfortunately, this feeling escalated into a full-blown vertigo episode as I reached for the office doorknob just a few moments later.  So much so, that a colleague had to help me to my chair before I could close my eyes in an attempt to stop the carnival ride happening in my head.  In that moment, I knew my body’s intelligence was trying to tell me something.  So, I just asked, “What do want me to know?”

I want you to be safe.  This feels dangerous.

Now, I talk to my spiritual intelligence all the time, mostly in gratitude and when asking for assistance for others.   But this time was different.  I was asking for the truth.  And, I was asking on behalf of myself, something I don’t do very often.  So, in my mind I connected to the love and the light that I feel after letting something go, integrating a part or a good meditation…and said, “Tell me that I will be okay.” 

I could feel my head nod in agreement that I would be safe.  So I said in response, “Tell my body that it’s okay, as well.”  And within seconds, the vertigo was gone.

For the last few weeks I’ve let this lie hang around in my body.  I didn’t name it or release it.  I just said, "Go ahead.  Just lie to me."  I just allowed the lie to be fully present and paid close attention to the chatter in my mind.  Chatter is important because the conscious mind will make up stories or create narrative in support of our unconscious lies, so I wanted to notice what internal noise floated to the surface.  As a result of taking notice, I now understand why my body lied to me. 
It appears my unconscious mind wasn’t concerned about jeopardizing my work or personal safety, but how my marriage might be impacted by my decision to “come out.”  You see, my husband doesn’t believe what I believe.  And, my interconnected and symbiotic system of mind and body wasn’t afraid of the unknown, but of repeating past hurts.  I’ve got a good man, so my body was just voicing its concerns about putting my marriage at risk.  Gotcha.

Once I understood why my body lied to me, it was time to identify the belief behind the vertigo.  In other words, what was the mental lie behind the body’s response?  As I connected with the emotion of fear behind the notion I might jeopardize my marriage, the belief was clear: you can’t have love and deep spiritual devotion.  It was time to let that go.  So, using one of the techniques I use with my clients, I released that belief from my mind and body.  In return, I connected to the knowing of spiritual mind and prepared to receive the real truth.

Spirit is nothing but love.  You’ve spent your whole life looking for love in relationships, while real love is within…and everywhere.   Know this…and speak your truth.  All will be as it should be.