Unlearning to Wholeness

We were all born whole, perfect, and full of divine perfection. Then life happens…and little by little…experience by experience…we unlearn how to plug into this natural state of being.

I can still remember the first time I heard someone declare we are already whole and perfect. I was in the early stages of my own awakening. My internal response was something like this, “Not me sista. You must be thinking about someone else who didn’t live my life.” Oh, don’t get me wrong – I wanted to feel the wholeness, but it felt like there was an ocean between me and those words.

Part of the problem for me was that no one could tell me HOW to reconnect with that sense of being. Instead, I was being asked to regurgitate someone else's words, philosophy, affirmations, beliefs and wait for them to become my own. After years of searching for how to reconnect, I was incredibly self-aware and grateful to finally understand the philosophical benefits of loving myself the way I am. However, it was still similar to hearing someone describe the details of their favorite meal over and over again: it was intimately familiar, but I’d never tasted it myself.

Until, that is, I found the answer to what was blocking my ability to plug into THAT feeling. It was my mind. For me, self-awareness, forgiveness work, meditation - even prayer - wasn’t enough. Meditation just stopped the water in my head from swirling long enough to allow the sediment to fall to the bottom, but the moment my butt left the pillow the debris was flying again. For me personally, it became obvious I needed to remove the sediment and create a clearing.

It was my own training in NLP (Neuro Linguistic Programming) and hypnotherapy that allowed me to discover what creates the sediment – unresolved negative emotions and limiting beliefs. Our beliefs send direct neurological commands to the body and, over time, give birth to programs and strategies that aren't serving us. So most of us will need to unlearn strategies to reconnect to the sense of self-love, and the easiest way to do that is by letting go of old beliefs.

Through my training I learned how to remove the sediment one limiting belief at a time…I’m not good enough…I don’t deserve happiness or success…I’m not smart enough…and I could feel myself getting more congruent. It wasn’t a feeling of wholeness, but more a sense of comfort with who I am. And then one Saturday morning things changed radically. The feeling of congruency transformed into a sense self-love I didn’t know existed.

I was on my unmade bed on a Saturday morning letting go of a seemingly benign limiting belief - I have to do things on my own because I can’t count on other people. As I released the belief and extracted the lesson using the techniques I use today with my clients, a new belief came into my awareness. It rocked me to my core.

You are never alone; God is always with you.

This notion of God seemed profound because God wasn't part of my language. In fact, I'd spent my whole life avoiding the g-word. And yet, this new belief viscerally vibrated throughout my entire body. So much so, it brought me to tears with the trueness of the statement. And, in that moment, I could feel the wholeness and connectedness of divine perfection that is also a part of me. That belief was the last mental obstacle standing in the way of knowing what wholeness feels like.

And so, the unlearning continues...