I Don’t Like Spiders and Snakes

If you’ve had a critical conversation, first date, job interview or have ever spoken in front of a large group — you already know the connection between the mind and body.  Who hasn’t experienced these tell-tale  physiological symptoms in times of stress:  stomach butterflies, an embarrassing color shift or perspiration that appears at the most inopportune time?  But, what happens when these natural physiological responses are so exaggerated that they immobilize someone at the mere thought of something…whether it’s a small eight-legged critter, slimy reptile or confined space.  Most people know we call this phenomenon a phobia, but maybe you didn't know how easy it is to release these irrational fears.

The term irrational feels a little harsh, huh?  But, in this situation the term used by the field of psychology actually makes a lot sense, because the vast majority of phobias are created before our capacity for rational thought is fully developed.  In the absence of a logical counterbalance in someone’s youngest years, the seeds of phobias are planted through misconstrued experiences exaggerated by fear.
  
These misinterpretations are stored as unconscious memories.  And, all of our memories are stored as internal representations — collages of pictures, sounds, and feelings — which tell us how to respond to something in the future based on an experience in the past.  So, someone with arachnophobia can see a small spider and lose himself in a sea of anxiety. And yet, it's not the spider that scares the person, but the internal picture of how his unconscious thinks he's supposed to respond to spiders.  And, when you change that picture — you remove the phobia.  It's that simple.

Regardless of the ease, it’s always humbling to witness someone release a debilitating fear so quickly.  One time in particular stands out in my mind. I had just finished delivering a half-day workshop to a large group of Vistage CEOs.  We’d spent our time together discussing the topic of beliefs, performance and instant change.  At the end of the workshop, I quipped I could easily release a phobia for anyone who had an extra fifteen minutes to spare.  Because the group already had a deep understanding of how change happens instantly, I jokingly made the offer. And if I’m honest, I was surprised when someone took me up on it.
 
This person had a snake phobia.  At just the mere suggestion of having a slimy reptile caged in the front of the room, his physiology jumped into high alert: flushed face, heart racing, beads of sweat.  I quickly changed the subject to keep him in the room, until he was calm enough to discuss how old he might have been when he decided snakes were scary.  He remembered lots of memories from later in his life, but like most clients, he couldn’t consciously remember the first event.  Therefore, I guided him to identify the first seed that formed this irrational fear.

Within seconds, he entered the memory a very early childhood experience.  This recollection, in itself, will not undue a phobia but it offered a starting point for our work.  Instead, our job together was to change the earliest internal representation.  So for the next ten minutes, I lead him to replay and disconnect the fear from that memory using the NLP phobia model.  In the end, he realized the first memory never even included a real snake - but instead, was a stern warning from his mother about playing around snake holes.  Once he had this rational perspective, I asked him one final time how he’d respond to a caged snake in the front of the room.  When he ambivalently shrugged his shoulders, I knew our work was done.

Of course, not everyone has a full-blown phobia.  And yet, the same model that creates a phobia also creates the stress and anxiety we experience in every day situations — during a critical conversation, first date, job interview or speech before a large group.  Were my client had a belief that snakes are dangerous, many of us hold a set of limiting beliefs that send direct neurological commands to the body when our unconscious mind believes we are in danger.  They, too, are often created by misconstrued experiences. Though the physiological response from these beliefs may not be as overt, the unconscious signals are disempowering none-the-less.  And also like a phobia, these beliefs don't go away through awareness, but they can be released easily.  In fact, it's even quicker than letting go of a life-long phobia.