Demystifying Emotional Triggers

Have you ever felt emotionally hijacked – held captive by some mysterious emotional trigger that you didn’t quite understand?  Who hasn’t, right?  You know the drill: a flood of unexplained and seemingly uncontrollable emotion races through your body and seizes your ability to behaving rationally.  An emotional trigger can be spurred on by something as simple as a distressing email or a customer service conversation gone wrong, but let’s not forget about the perky neighbor or co-worker that everyone seems to adore…everyone, but you.

When these reactions happen, it’s so easy to look outside of ourselves and blame the situation or person pushing our buttons.  But, what if I told you that every emotional hijack is actually a ransom note telling you there is something to heal?  I was abruptly reminded of this fact last week when I found myself in the midst of an unexpected emotional tailspin.

At the time, my husband and I were discussing our long-term financial plans.  The conversation included sobering topics like wills, life insurance, and retirement income; important issues, but not fun, right?  Well, in the middle of the conversation I found myself officially hijacked.  Hell, between us – it was like I had a case of undiagnosed Tourette’s syndrome.  On some level, I was aware that my response was totally out of proportion, but I just couldn’t stop myself.  My emotions were over-the-top, out-of-control and my body’s physiology kicked into high gear, which left nothing to bubble up to the rational brain but waves of desperation.  That’s how a hijack works, unfortunately.

And yet, we both know that these natural and automatic fight or flight responses are supposed to be reserved for the real thing – like an intruder in your home or ten foot waves at the bow of your boat.  Both, by the way, I’ve experienced. So, a few hours later I embarrassingly asked myself – “What was I thinking?” – knowing I wasn’t thinking at all.  So, I wondered, "What unconscious belief caused this response?"
     
As I’ve said before, the unconscious mind works on the premise of least effort.  It’s always on the lookout for seemingly similar circumstances and responses from the past in hopes of applying those old responses to present day situations.  It was clear I had a belief that had been running amuck for some time.  So, I went looking for the root cause.

Here is what I found:  “You are not capable of supporting yourself!”

This, of course, is a disempowering belief that is not true, so I let it go. In a matter of minutes, I could feel a sense of self-reliance, capability and focus being unleashed in my body.  These internal resources didn’t come from a protective “I’ll show you” mindset, but from a place of internal expansion.  In that moment, I knew the resources had already been there but it’s as if they were being held captive by a very old wound. 

In the days that passed, I reflected on how this belief has shaped my life.  If I’m honest, I’ve been waiting for someone to take care of me for most of my life.  Don’t get me wrong – I’ve worked hard and successfully over the years – but deep down at a unconscious level it appears I never believed it would be my financial success that would fuel my ability to be in service to more people.  Again, not flattering to say out loud, but I can see many decisions tied to this belief.  And, it explains a lot about my writing, as well.

As you know, I’ve been writing a book for the last couple of years.  It’s probably more accurate to say I’ve been thinking about writing a book more than writing a book.  In other words, my mental intentions haven’t been matched by the action of written word on the page.  I can see how this belief impacted this endeavor.  Consciously, I would say, “I am going to write a book and create a huge platform to help others to heal more quickly.”  And my unconscious mind whisper, “Oh, why bother?  You’re not capable of supporting the outcomes you want in life.”  I only know this because I have been supercharged for the last week, and not only in my writing.
 
I would have never recaptured these internal resources if I hadn’t followed the ransom note delivered by my emotions.  Every hijack – big or small – tells me there’s something to heal. And when I address the ransom, I reconnect to more of my potential and the resources that come along with greater wholeness.  And, the same is also true for you.