Consciousness Continuum

Until recently, I’ve stayed away from using the word “consciousness” in my practice.  I don’t know, maybe I wondered if people would want to debate what consciousness is or isn’t – and I felt inept to convey my lay viewpoint while some of our best philosophers and scientists continue to debate the issue:  is it neurological, quantum or spiritual?  I’m still not prepared to answer that complicated question, but it’s clear we need a little common sense on the topic.  More important, people need to understand how — in the simplest of terms — one’s level of consciousness dictates how we respond to the circumstances of life.

First and foremost, let’s make it simple — consciousness is nothing more than describing how awake you are to yourself, and to the world around you.  You can be awake a little, or a lot.  If you are only slightly awake, the world is a subjective place where you are thrown about by circumstances, emotions and safe choices.  For these folks, the world can easily become a platform of doing in the name of self-interest and ego.

Conversely, if you are fully awake, the world is a vast and interconnected plateau where your personal contribution makes an investment to the greater whole.  As a result, you more easily transcend the grip of circumstances and emotions and make conscious choices aligned with the highest good.  These folks are more interested in the art of being, meaning they do as well, but from a place of clarity, love, expansiveness and service.

And of course, it’s a continuum and most of us live somewhere along this spectrum.   David Hawkins in his book on consciousness, Power vs. Force, says one in fifteen million people live at the far right of the continuum and experience what we’ve come to call enlightenment.  

I suppose you might be curious about where you sit on this continuum, right?  Well, it’s actually fairly easy to discern.  Just notice if you have a stronger propensity to operate from a place of ego and negative emotions, such as guilt, fear, hopelessness or pride…or whether if you’re more apt to be carried by a sense of love, faith or deep inner peace even during challenging times.

In short, consciousness allows you to transcend circumstances, which is what transcendence means in Latin:  beyond this.  And the more you wake up, the more you’re able to get out of your head and untether yourself from the exaggerated emotions that plague many of our lives today.  It doesn’t mean you don’t feel anything, but you can put things in greater perspective because your heart is open.  This expansiveness became increasingly evident to me when my husband suffered a stroke late last year. As you can imagine, I was certainly concerned and felt emotionally jostled occasionally.  And yet, I also felt incredibly strong.  Not because I emotionally disconnected or retreated for survival purposes, but because a sense of faith was palpable whenever I found myself being fully present.  In fact, I would also experience moments of deep appreciation in this presence – for the lessons, technology, staff and the loving support that seemed to be all around us.  But it wasn’t until the crisis passed that I realized that this uncanny sense of presence was new to my life.
 
I want to be clear that being present is not something I learned how to do consciously.  In fact, I can remember reading both of Eckhart Tolle’s books, The Power of Now and A New Earth, and thinking that this way of being, as he described it, was more easily said than done.  After all, he had the benefit of enlightenment to guide his thoughts, behaviors and emotions.  As one of the 14,999,999 million other people who haven’t experienced spontaneous enlightenment, I remember being frustrated that I couldn’t create a bridge from his lovely words and experiences straight to my heart.  I had an intellectual understanding of being and presence, but that didn't help me avoid being flung about my life’s little circumstances.  Until, that is, I started to work on my level of consciousness through blind ignorance.
      
You see, I’ve lived my work over the last few years.  Meaning, I created a practice of releasing old beliefs or healing old wounds using the restorative techniques I use with my clients.  During the process, it’s natural to connect momentarily to the state of being – a place that feels objective and neutral.  When I first started releasing, I’d receive moments of what felt like common sense or clarity.  But as my practice continued, however, I started to connect more often to a sense of joy or peace or contentment, until the feelings finally progressed to a state of pure bliss.  And what I now understand – is that with every beautiful encounter – I would bring a little bit of those emotional states back to expand my conscious awareness.   In the end, it was this regimen that allowed me to transcend the storm of natural emotions, worries and fears that come along with any medical crisis.
     
Maybe you’re still curious about your own level of consciousness, but it feels too unfair to think about life’s big challenges.  If so, just reflect on how you respond to the little things in life.  What happens when someone accidentally butts in front of you in the line at the grocery store or cuts you off on the highway?  What do you say to yourself, or to them?  What feelings run through your body?  How do you behave?  Can you distance yourself from the emotions and ask yourself what might be happening for them?  Can you be curious even in the face of a potential affront?  Do you feel the propensity to do something to prove you’re right, or can you be with the moment and respond from a place of clarity, expansiveness and love?  It’s these everyday moments that often cause me to ask myself:  Is it time to wake up some more?

Can People Change?

I used to wonder if people could change.  At the time, it was easy to chalk up my own cynicism to two decades in human resources in which I had witnessed the masses struggling to adapt to constructive feedback — even when it held the promise of greater success. And yet today, this very question of whether people can change seems incredibly naïve and shallow. As I work with clients, I want them to understand there is nothing about who they are that needs to change.  Changing people isn’t the answer.  Instead, we need to help people discover more of who they really are.  I know, this declaration might sound a little contradictory, so let me tell you a little more.

Remember, we were born whole, perfect and full of perfection.  We were flexible, creative, adaptable, resourceful, innovative and loving.  We were brimming with possibilities, innate interests and natural inclinations.  And then, life happened.  Our little minds received clear messages that in order to be loved, worthy, maybe even safe, we needed to act or do things in a certain way.  By adulthood, some strategies work.  Others don’t.
  
And yet, we don’t change or transform by “fixing” what’s not working.  This is why training, performance reviews, new years’ resolutions and ultimatums have a short shelf-life.  Take my client who is wicked smart, driven and a deeply committed consultant.  She is already incredibly successful in her own right, but work feels hard and monopolizes her life.  She’s all or nothing when it comes to pleasing her customers — mostly all, which is starting to take a toll on her health.  Our job is not to change or fix who she is, but to help her rediscover those aspects of herself that were hidden away by the message she had to please others, at all costs.

And yet, we’ve become such a doing society that we’ve lost sight of the benefits that come with a sense of being or wholeness.  Which is why this client’s homework assignment was getting more comfortable with the notion that she could be worthy without doing anything.  So in preparation for our next session, her assignment was to relearn how to waste time — her words — which for her included sitting uncomfortably on a park bench without a purpose, attempting small bites of meditation and walking a labyrinth in the middle of the workday.  All of these activities allowed her to address her  unconscious fear of being useless.

As you can see, this is a very different strategy than telling people what’s not working, which happens all the time, right?  Instead of encouraging individuals to transform through wholeness, we encourage people to change by throwing out the comfortable parts of who they are already.  In fact, I can remember being told in one of my annual performance reviews that I sounded like a consultant.  It was implied, “Work on changing that.”  What does one do with that type of feedback?  Without any outside direction, I heightened my self-awareness and questioned my motivations.  In turn, I became paranoid and self-conscious in an environment already wrought with ego, educational pedigree and unrelenting excellence.  I was clearly overcompensating, but I needed someone to guide me.  I didn’t need less of whatever I was exuding, but the counterbalance of something that was clearly missing from within.  I didn’t need to change, but find more of myself.

I know the exact moment when this aspect of who I am was gifted with greater equilibrium.   I was in Southern California and experiencing my very first breakthrough session as the crescendo to my master’s training.  In a crowed hotel conference room filled with thirty other practitioners, I’d spent my morning in a corner with another practitioner sharing the beliefs I had about myself:  I’m not smart enough, good enough, you fill in the blank.  Once I released those old beliefs, there was an invitation to be unapologetically me.  It no longer seemed necessary — consciously or unconsciously — to project something I wasn’t.  I could embrace all aspects of myself. And let’s be clear: these elements of who I am most authentically weren’t willing to come out just because someone suggested I change.

In retrospect, if I would have changed there is the chance I could have let go of what I do well — communicate.   That would be equivalent to throwing out the baby with the bath water.  In fact, my client doesn’t need to change either.  Can you see that?  What we both required was a repertoire of behaviors that come from a greater sense of internal equilibrium, which only emerges when we revive the young character virtues, values and beliefs that were present before we looked at life through the lens of fear.  We didn’t need to change — you don’t need to change — but instead, tap into a pool of internal resources that come along when we embrace more of who we are.  

The Three Culprits of Unhappiness

If there’s anything I’ve learned in my lifetime, it’s that too many people are unhappy.  This first came to light for me in the workplace where so many people are working in jobs they find unfulfilling; literally millions of folks fit in this category.  But I’ve come to witness a level of dissatisfaction and unhappiness that’s almost unexplainable, which made me think recently about what stops people from living more joyous and bliss-filled lives.  From the inspiration of a ten second Twitter post, here are the three most common culprits, I believe, that stop us from achieving greater happiness.

Not knowing what you want:
At the simplest level, too many of us don’t know what’s important to us — meaning what we want to accomplish or do in our lifetime.  Also, I see an absence of intention behind who we want to be or how we want people to remember us.  Even while the research is very clear: it’s not arriving at the destination, but the journey of traveling to achieving our aspirations that brings us joy.  However, with the void of being clear about what we want and the character and values that will help us to get there — happiness alludes even the most talented.

This particular culprit shows up for many reasons, but it’s a protective mindset that dupes most.  Meaning, these folks spend their time trying to avoid something — being broke, unloved, criticized, vulnerable, disappointing others, failure — so much so, they’re often playing defense.  This causes them to spend too much time talking about what they don’t want…and as a result, they’ve forgotten to ask themselves what might be possible on the horizon.  In the worse-case scenario, they’re so stuck that they’ve given up dreaming all together.      

Not wanting what you have:
This nasty culprit creates unhappiness for a couple of reasons.  First, there’s the simple reality that many of us don’t know why we want something in the first place.  Why do so many want power, possessions or unending wealth?  Is it about impact, contribution or service to humanity?  Or, is it about feeling in control, worthy, good enough or smart enough?  If driven by the latter and unaware, these poor folks find themselves chasing happiness on the hedonic treadmill and external circumstances to quench their thirst.
   
Also, this is an absence of gratitude for what we have.  I know this statement might sounds trite, but it’s true.  In the constant striving for what’s next, we’ve forget that many of the experiences, possessions or privileges we once valued or wanted are the things we now take for granted.  Even in scenarios that aren’t ideal, we can still feel gratitude for our freedom of conscious choice.  Viktor Frankl, a holocaust survivor who went on to write A Man’s Search for Meaning exemplified this by highlighting that we can always choose the attitude and perspective we bring to a situation.  Frankl found gratitude in the fact that no one could take away his inner most thoughts.

Wanting more than you have:
I’m not sure I have to say much about this one.  As a society we love big, more and bigger.  Overconsumption and envy is at a pandemic.  The famous director, Tom Shadyac, who made films like Ace Ventura and Pet Detective, highlights how he came to terms with his own consumption indulgence in the recently released documentary I AM.  In other words, Shadyac points out the lines between what we want and what we really need have become blurred. 

We don’t often receive lessons from looking at other people’s lives.  So, the thoughts I share today don’t come from a place of platitude or judgment, but from living my own life.  My hope for you is that the questions that now guide me can also help you:  is what I need really important or what is my real intention; why do I want this or what will it say about me as a person if I don’t have/do this; and, do I really need more?  I believe that, in those questions, you’ll find the answers to true happiness. 

Making Sense

My husband and I watched a documentary called Wake Up this weekend.  The movie depicts a reluctant spiritual seeker, Jonah Elrod, who experiences an unusual phenomenon that changes how he interprets the world through his five senses.  In short, he now has the capability to see — with his own eyes — the interconnectedness of all humanity through our normally unseen energetic connections.  He can also see spirits, angels, and yes, even energy that is wounded and shattered.  The film depicts his journey to make sense and find peace with this new-found capability.  In the end, he calls on us to wake up to the fact that there is more to this world than what we can experience through our limited five senses or our rational minds.

After watching the movie, I voiced that everyone should hear Elrod’s story.  My husband quickly replied, “Not everyone would believe it.  It won’t make sense to everyone.”  I said nothing in response, because I intuitively understood these might represent his thoughts.  This left-brain intellectual who lovingly inhabits my life represents the majority of Western culture.  If we can’t see, measure, prove or make sense of something, it doesn’t exist.  And, in fact, it’s this limited paradigm created hundreds of years ago that closes humanity off from the extraordinary that lies beyond the mind.

In fact, at one point in the film Elrod visits with a Sufi Mystic, Llewellyn Vaughan-Lee, Ph.D., in one of many attempts to understand his new reality.  Elrod asks the mystic why the human race has lost contact with the level of consciousness he is experiencing.   The Mystic says, “It happened over the last few hundred years…with the belief in science…with the belief in rationalism…and so, we actually developed a consciousness that created a veil between us and the spirit world and all of its manifestations.”  In other words, we’ve forgotten how to be fully awake to all of reality — and this has been exaggerated with our love affair with science and rational thought.   

As I reflect on this simple notion, I can easily associate this statement to one of my poignant moments where I expanded my own notion of reality.  It was a cold December day last year and I was making my third visit to see Sally Pechstein who does healing energy work. 

   

Like Elrod, I was a reluctant seeker.  If you would have told me a few years ago I’d be spending a busy holiday shopping day visiting with someone who claims to clear our energy centers, I would have fell down laughing.  But I’d already experienced my own awakening  — and once you start to awaken — you'll want to awaken some more.  So, I’d been exploring other healing modalities with great interest. 

 

After my very first visit to Sally, It was clear that my own veil of consciousness was lifted just a little bit further.  And therefore, I returned this day with the same openness, but with more deliberate intention.  I’d just finished reading the book Journey of Souls by Michael Newton, Ph. D.  The book chronicled a once mainstream psychologist who experiments with hypnotherapy to further the healing process and in return, stumbles upon a set of consistent themes regarding what happens to our soul after death: how our soul leaves the body, collect it’s life lessons and evaluates actions with those spirit entities who have watched over and guided us in the physical world.  The book was absolutely fascinating, but my intellectual mind was reeling with questions.  And yet, the notion that the soul exists beyond ones’ physical death made total sense in my gut.  So, I went to see Sally that day to make sense of whether any of this was true.  Sally humbly embraced my agenda.  

As I had two times before, I lay down on the table and covered myself with the warm blanket.  Sally started some relaxing music you’d easily find in the new-age bookstore and offered me a small lavender-filled pillow to cover my eyes.  As the room morphed into darkness, I promised myself to surrender to whatever feelings, pictures or sounds my senses could grasp.  Before you know it, my cognitive thoughts were reduced into a state of empty relaxation.  

Sally started her silent work and I retreated inward further. (I want to be clear that I was in a meditative state, not in a trance.  As a hypnotherapist myself, I know the difference.)  It couldn’t have been more than 10 minutes before I was aware of the presence of others in the room.  It wasn’t a sense that I could hear or see people that would appear if I removed my eye coverings, but that there was considerably more energy in the room.  In fact, it was like being a crowded, darkened elevator and knowing, intuitively, that we’d passed the weigh threshold by three times.  

After this awareness heightened, a slideshow started to play in the internal darkness of my mind.  The slideshow was a montage of images representing my life — these weren’t pictures I consciously created.  It was as if someone had hit the play button on a projector as I involuntarily sat in the theater watching my life pass through my mind’s eye.  Like fireflies on a hot summer night, every challenging moment of my life flashed with rapid succession: my awkward childhood, failing in school, the heartache of my marriage, giving up my children.  

As quickly as it started, the images were gone.  In their place was a clear message in unspoken terms from someone who felt incredibly wise, “We were always there: in every challenging moment.”  And, I knew it was true.  Not because I needed physical evidence or a scientific study to tell me so, but because every cell in my body was basking in gratitude, love and a deep sense of knowing that this divine presence has followed me through my life.  In response to this truth, my body felt overflowing with bliss: as if I’d consumed too much gratitude on a gluttonous Thanksgiving Day.  So much so, I said silently to this presence, “Okay.  Okay.  I know you are here.”  I needed a reprieve from the emotion and the physical pressure that surrounded me. 

The intensity would subside and rise again on two more occasions in that session, leaving me with other profound experiences that culminating in an important message:  I am here in this lifetime to learn, so I may teach others.

 I would stay on the table that day well after Sally left the room.  At first, I didn’t dare stand because I was still overwrought by awe, so I let the tears flow in hopes the sensations would escape my body.  By the time I propped myself in the corner chair next to thin slice of light coming in from the window, my rational thoughts started to come into focus — what did I experience, was it real, what did it mean?  So, I invited Sally back into the room and attempted to put my experience into words, but it was difficult to translate the indescribable into a common lexicon that didn't exist.  I did my best.  And in return, Sally shared her written account of what she’d experienced as the practitioner.   Our accounts were almost identical.  

But regardless of the fact that I know what I know about this profound experience — and that Sally corroborated what I experienced through her own account — most of our society will automatically discount what unfolded because it doesn’t make sense in the rational mind.  I understand that, I do. I get that Jonah Elrod’s story pushes our boundaries.  Years ago I would have discounted it, as well.  But that was before a few years of experiences that have expanded my own understanding of how this world works.  Making sense has its place, but in the process of paying homage to what science and rational thought provides — we lost touch with the universal laws of what’s really true and the magic of what’s possible. 

Change vs. Transformation

Though it’s been a few years, I can still vividly remember sitting in the CEO’s office just days before leaving my post at the Bill & Melinda Gates Foundation.  Before we jumped into the meeting agenda that sunny July morning, the CEO asked me again why I was leaving.  I proudly declared, “I am leaving to guide individuals through personal transformation.”  I’m sure my response included some surface comments about helping folks to navigate change, but today I understand there’s a huge difference between change and transformation; it’s the latter that creates sustainable momentum toward getting the life we want.

What I’ve come to value is that the process of change is nothing more than helping people to get closer to their goal by rearranging the content of their life, which should explain why this approach is often short-lived.

If someone decides, for example, she desires to live a healthy lifestyle — there’s a call to do more or less of something.  Doing new activities and creating different rhythms feels uncomfortable and energy depleting, but she does it anyway by shaking up how, what, when and why she eats or cares for her body.  When she accepts this challenge, she makes incremental shifts in the way she thinks, responds and behaves, but invariably pushes up against the internal resistance of navigating change.  Sometimes she doesn’t change the content…and suffers setbacks.  And, the saga of trying to solve problems or achieve her goal through the change process continues to be an uphill battle.

Personal transformation is vastly different and certainly more profound.  Where change is often short-lived, transformation creates the foundation for sustainable change by expanding the context of who you really are: your strengths, passions,and natural tendencies born from love and awareness, not protection.  As result, a pool of vast internal resources becomes available to you in order to achieve whatever you wish to accomplish — whether big or small.   And unlike change, you can’t undo what is birthed through transformation.  Undoing transformation would be akin to a newly formed butterfly ignoring the wings that now adorn her body.
      
So, if you want a healthier lifestyle — more happiness or greater success — you just have to plug into the full capacity of your personal power.  You see, you already have your own internal system of intelligence and genius which comes from an integrated mind, body and spirit.  And yet, many people have cut themselves off from all the aspects of who they are, so they live in their head and rely on willpower to change content.  They are, in essence, living in a cocoon of a fractured self which cuts them off from their full capacity.

However, when you are congruent and whole, your natural systems innately know how to communicate when you’re hungry or full, whether food is depleting or giving you energy, or if your body is asking for more self-care.  Your internal wisdom already knows what makes you happy, puts you in flow and maintains internal equilibrium. This wellspring of knowledge and resources come from the process of transformation, not change.

I understand that not everyone has the courage to embrace a journey of transformation.  People in our society prefers falling into the trap of changing content instead of looking at how their problems are trying to tell them something about who they really are. 

In fact, I am strong believer that if change is conquering you — this obstacle is an invitation to know more about who you really are…because your problems are created by who you are not.  You see, most of your unproductive habits, behavioral diversions and disempowering strategies are born from a place of protection.  You are more than that.  So, real transformation is about getting real with yourself; why am I eating instead of feeling emotions, what am I protecting myself from or avoiding by keeping the weight on, why is work more important that my body, health or peace of mind? 

When you take a journey of transformation, you honor those parts that no longer serve you…and ask them to leave.   You allow those aspects to die, and in return, create a clearing.  In that clearing emerges a deeper sense of self-understanding, more productive thoughts and deeds and a sense that you must honor what’s most important to your authentic self.  From this place of expanded context of who you are and what you are capable of in this lifetime, you start to support a shift in lifestyle from within.  And, change has no choice but to come along for the ride.

What’s Your Theme?

We are all living a theme: a certain way of being or showing up in the world that defines who you are.  And the world acts as a stage, allowing you to play out your theme with every passing moment.  Your theme was created early in life when you unconsciously asked yourself who you needed to be in order to survive in this challenging world.  I wonder — what’s your theme?

I suspect you already have a hunch about how your theme in life is playing out. But being honest with yourself is still very different than having the richness of who you are boiled down into a thematic character.  Which is what happens when you stand in the audience, watch and ask, “What does my life tell me about myself?”  I did this for the first time many years ago and it was incredibly humbling.  However, recent circumstances offered a pause… and another invitation to look at my life’s theme again through the lens of the Enneagram.
 
The Enneagram is an ancient personality tool that describes nine distinct patterns of how we think, feel and behave based on our perceptual filters.  Underneath each of the nine patterns is a basic proposition or belief about what you need in life for survival and satisfaction.  Apparently, I am an “enthusiast” and have spent my whole life trying to avoid pain and suffering. 

Yup, that’s me. At my best, my theme serves me well.  At a place of unconsciousness, my theme holds me hostage.  Not a pretty thing to confess, but I’ve known for some time that I’ve spent most of my life avoiding hard, walking away from what is difficult, unpleasant or too emotional.  In fact, if I‘m really honest with myself, I’ve spend most of my life in an unending journey to find pleasure — even when it took me down a circuitous path or adversely impacted the people I loved the most.  In short, I created an unhealthy coping mechanism of avoiding hard with a little “h” and in return, would invariably bump up against Hard with a big “H.” I thought I’d left this theme behind, but even before the Enneagram, the last few months made me question if this was true.
 
I am still not sure if I want to call the catalyst for my self-evaluation a breakthrough or a breakdown, but it came a few months ago when I bumped up against hard again.  This situation was a little startling because I pride myself in that, these days, the more I evolve, grow, and connect to the real truth of who I am — the easier things seem to get in my life.  That is, unless you consider my writing struggles. 

On this particular morning I entered the session with my writing coach after a tough week of translating words onto paper.  I confess my frustrations and Kimberly compassionately greets me with a sobering pep talk which includes the wisdom, “Yes, writing can be hard.”  And somehow the words feel wounding.  A well of emotion pools in my body.  A lump forms in my throat as a way to call for my attention as my tears start to flow.  In the past, this would have been an invitation to stuff my feelings down, but now I can let the emotion show itself as a way to guide me to my words, “I’ve already had too much hard in my life.  I don’t want to do that anymore!”

Once those words leave my mouth, however, I know I have a question and a challenge for myself.  Am I still avoiding hard?  And, can I act as a witness over the next few months to see if this theme is still showing up in my life?  I am certainly willing to admit that most of the difficulty I’ve experienced in my early life was self-inflicted through too many self-indulgent choices.  And yet, the experience on this particular morning made me question if I’d really abandoned this strategy entirely.  So I vowed to watch and notice my current relationship to hard.  How would I respond when writing felt laborious, difficult and, yes, even scary?

But a few months later it wasn’t just my writing that caught my attention.  I took a class that pushed my comfort zone regarding my creative abilities.  The uncomfortableness of sitting around a table with five artists with my creative ineptness in bold view was almost unbearable…and yet, I vowed to sit patiently with the discomfort.  A large commitment to build and deliver a two-day workshop was followed by a feeling of being “boxed in” as I prepared to fulfill this commitment…and yet, I begrudgingly did it anyway.  A tough conversation with my husband beckoned my attention…and I wanted to crawl out of my skin to save myself from speaking my truth…and yet, I spoke from a place of honesty.  All of these situations made me acutely aware that I was more willing to plunge into the discomfort these days, but my theme still existed.  I’m getting better at hard, but I clearly haven’t mastered it yet.  
    
I know it wasn’t a coincidence I was introduced to the Enneagram right after my experiment concluded.  This tool made my life make sense; it made the last few months make sense.  I continue to try and protect myself from my own limitations or any potential pain because this innate behavior still exists within me.  And at the same time, I’m also clear that self-awareness, acceptance of my theme and an on-going commitment to take different actions, in spite of myself, is the answer to finding more of who I really am.

So again, I ask — what’s your theme?  Are you all or nothing?  Do you strive for perfection?  Is harmony so important that you’ve forgotten about your own needs?  Do you give so much of yourself that there’s nothing left?  Does accomplishment define who you are?  Do you strive for solitude and independence at the cost of yourself and others?  Do you spend your life skeptically looking for the gaps?  Has your deep longing for emotional connection somehow created a lonely life?  Or, like me, have you spent your life seeking pleasure?
  
You see, once you understand your theme you’ll come face-to-face with who you thought you needed to be in order to be happy.   Only then can you look behind the unhealthy coping mechanisms you’ve created and discover the real you.

Lie to Me

When the word intelligence is used, I suspect most of us would immediately think of mental capacity.  However, humans actually have four types of intellect: spiritual, mental, emotional and physical.  Spiritual intelligence is vast and contains a depth of knowing that runs far beyond IQ comprehension.  Then we have mental, emotional and physical intelligence which are an interconnected and symbiotic system that allow us to connect—or not—to the truth held in the spiritual mind. 

When we aren’t connected to spiritual truth, which resides in a place of unending peace, creativity and resources, it is often due to the lies that our mind, emotions or body conjure up based on our own past experiences.  Though I’ve known this place for some time, it was the bold-face lie my body conjured up a few weeks ago that reminded me of the importance of seeking the real truth.

My body started the lie on an ordinary Thursday morning right after my session with my writing coach, Kimberly.  I was heading into the office after confessing a few things to her that I had been unwilling to say out loud—that there are these thoughts, ideas, experiences…that…well…I’ve told myself are just too spiritual for my blog.  However, on this particular morning I finally shared a draft of an article I’ve been attempting to write for months now.  As I explained to Kimberly, I was finding it incredibly difficult to translate a life-changing meditation experience into words without minimizing how it impacted my own spiritual awakening.  And yet, the more we talked about the piece, the more excited I became.  I even contemplated clearing my calendar that day and self-indulging in hours of writing.  But alas, a full day of client appointments called me to the office, so instead I had to jump in the car just moments after the call ended.
 
As I pulled into the darkened parking garage, my attention was pulled to the glowing vibration of my phone.  I had an email from Kimberly so I read it quickly before exiting my car.  Her words of encouragement seemed to carry me to the elevator.  However, by the time I reached the elevator call button, I noticed my happy-go-lucky bounce had turned into a little dizziness.  Unfortunately, this feeling escalated into a full-blown vertigo episode as I reached for the office doorknob just a few moments later.  So much so, that a colleague had to help me to my chair before I could close my eyes in an attempt to stop the carnival ride happening in my head.  In that moment, I knew my body’s intelligence was trying to tell me something.  So, I just asked, “What do want me to know?”

I want you to be safe.  This feels dangerous.

Now, I talk to my spiritual intelligence all the time, mostly in gratitude and when asking for assistance for others.   But this time was different.  I was asking for the truth.  And, I was asking on behalf of myself, something I don’t do very often.  So, in my mind I connected to the love and the light that I feel after letting something go, integrating a part or a good meditation…and said, “Tell me that I will be okay.” 

I could feel my head nod in agreement that I would be safe.  So I said in response, “Tell my body that it’s okay, as well.”  And within seconds, the vertigo was gone.

For the last few weeks I’ve let this lie hang around in my body.  I didn’t name it or release it.  I just said, "Go ahead.  Just lie to me."  I just allowed the lie to be fully present and paid close attention to the chatter in my mind.  Chatter is important because the conscious mind will make up stories or create narrative in support of our unconscious lies, so I wanted to notice what internal noise floated to the surface.  As a result of taking notice, I now understand why my body lied to me. 
It appears my unconscious mind wasn’t concerned about jeopardizing my work or personal safety, but how my marriage might be impacted by my decision to “come out.”  You see, my husband doesn’t believe what I believe.  And, my interconnected and symbiotic system of mind and body wasn’t afraid of the unknown, but of repeating past hurts.  I’ve got a good man, so my body was just voicing its concerns about putting my marriage at risk.  Gotcha.

Once I understood why my body lied to me, it was time to identify the belief behind the vertigo.  In other words, what was the mental lie behind the body’s response?  As I connected with the emotion of fear behind the notion I might jeopardize my marriage, the belief was clear: you can’t have love and deep spiritual devotion.  It was time to let that go.  So, using one of the techniques I use with my clients, I released that belief from my mind and body.  In return, I connected to the knowing of spiritual mind and prepared to receive the real truth.

Spirit is nothing but love.  You’ve spent your whole life looking for love in relationships, while real love is within…and everywhere.   Know this…and speak your truth.  All will be as it should be.